Hannah Griffiths, Meet Me in The Dark 4th draft changes and feedback
We have decided after feedback from the class and the teacher, that we need to edit our suicide and attempted suicide scenes to make them shorter as they are too long winded and the actual suicide is too much like a horror movie. We also decided to add more bullying scenes to show what actually Katie Butler faces (our protagonist). We also decided to add an internal monologue in the hall scene to show the effect of the bullying upon our protagonist as it was not very clear before. We decided to keep the beginning of the movie pretty much the same; we also decided to keep the dream scene the same as it is very important to introduce the character and her homosexual transition. We left out our very first scene, with the protagonist watching a movie, because it didn’t fit in with the play, and made the film even longer. We decided along with the audience who watched our fourth draft that our movie is too long at 8 minutes long. So to fix this, we will now cut down our suicide scenes by half, add more bullying scenes, add a voice over in the hall scene, and cut that down as well. We decided to cut out the scenes in the failed suicide scene that were jumpy and didn’t look that good. We also decided to cute the scenes in the actual suicide scene that looked to horror movie. We will defiantly add more scenes of homophobic bullying, and I feel that the song “hallelujah” in the background really fitted the scenes and was the time when you felt the most sympathy for Katie. We’re also going to crop the dream scene slightly so that it blends together better because we feel it is too jumpy at the moment. I’m also going to add more editing effects into the scenes, for example the hall scene where I will add blurs because it looks better than the fade to black. I’m also going to add an effect every time there is a flashback in the movie so that is clear to the audience because at the moment it isn’t very clear.
